Feeling Stuck and Overwhelmed? It's Probably Not a Motivation Problem.
- May 13
- 3 min read
Updated: May 20
Most people who feel stuck think they need more motivation. A better morning routine. A new goal. A fresh start. I've talked to hundreds of people in that place. And almost none of them had a motivation problem.
What they had was a backpack problem.
Here's what I mean. Imagine you've been walking through life carrying a backpack. Every experience that didn't get processed went in. Every regret, every expectation someone put on you, every decision you kept postponing, every relationship that drains you - in the backpack. Some of it you packed yourself. A lot of it you never chose to carry at all.
Over time, it gets heavy. Not dramatically heavy. Just heavy enough that one day you wake up and think: why don't I feel like myself anymore?
That's not a motivation problem. That's a weight problem. And the solution isn't to push harder. It's to figure out what's actually in the bag.
Why Feeling Stuck and Overwhelmed Is So Common
In the work I do with clients, I see the same categories of weight show up again and again:
The past. Regret, guilt, failure - things that already happened but never got processed. They don't live in the past. They live in your body and your decisions today.
Expectations. Yours and other people's. The career you're supposed to want. The person you're supposed to be by now. The life that looks good from the outside.
Fear. Of change. Of judgment. Of getting it wrong. Fear doesn't usually announce itself. It just shows up as hesitation, avoidance, and "I'll deal with it later."
Overcommitment. Saying yes to everything because you don't know how to say no, or because you're afraid of what saying no means about you.
Lack of clarity. When you don't know what you actually want, you end up carrying everyone else's version of your life. This one might be the heaviest of all.
A Framework for Getting Unstuck
Once you've named what you're carrying, the next step is to sort it. I use a framework I call the 3 Boxes. Every burden in your life belongs in one of three places.
Control. Things you can actually act on. Your habits. Your schedule. Your boundaries. Your choices.
Influence. Things you can affect but not control. A relationship dynamic. Your work environment. How you show up in a hard conversation.
Release. Things that belong to someone else, belong to the past, or are simply outside your reach. Other people's opinions. Mistakes you can't undo. Expectations that were never realistic.
Most people feel stuck and overwhelmed not because life is so hard, but because they're spending all their energy fighting things that belong in the release box. That's not a character flaw. Nobody teaches you this. But once you see it, you can't unsee it.
What Comes After
Identifying what you're carrying and sorting it into the right boxes is the beginning, not the end. What comes next is rebuilding - intentionally choosing what goes back in. Your values. Your priorities. The version of your life that actually makes sense for who you're becoming.
That's the work. It's not easy. But it's a lot more useful than trying to get motivated about a life that was never really yours to begin with.
If any of this resonates, I built a workshop around this exact framework - virtual and in-person, group or one-on-one - called “Unpack It.” It's a structured experience to do this work in one focused day, with exercises, accountability and a real plan you leave with. Andrés works with clients in Seattle and the Pacific Northwest in person, and virtually with people nationwide.
We'll be announcing dates for the first workshop in late May - add yourself to the list and we'll email you when dates are announced: latribucoach.com/unpack-it.
It's time to figure out what's in the bag and live a life that's what you want it to be.
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